An e-mail for my friend!

thanks ____ for understanding, and not scolding me for not helping the group.. i am always a major major big mistake.
sorry
I am always asking for sorry..
can't help it. i really feel sorry for what i can not do,..
it's a big shame on me!
i do always have the reason for not making something!
sometimes it's because of the situation, resources and circumstances,
and sometimes, i just really don't have the idea and feel lazy to do.
i cannot promise not to do it again, but i promise to change my attitude.
Not this time, but in due time and due process.
i really don't feel the calling of being a ___,
my heart desire for something else.
My energy is not parallel to yours.
I don't know what to do, and honestly i am really out of track at this time.
I am very confused not for my identity
but for what can i do, and where i really fit, for what is my talent.
The laughter and bubbly personality i project, sometimes is not really me..
I admit that i feel pity for myself for not growing.
I know that you would say: that it is not good to feel self pity
I am trying not to..
I don't know why , maybe I'm crazy.
Well thank you for being a good friend, classmate, group mate,
thanks for everything,
I admire you for what you are, as a person cause you project a good personality and your intelligence
for not giving up to any challenges that comes into you.
This maybe a long letter, and a very wrong grammar
But this comes from my heart
here attach the acknowledgment and sample abstract
please save this letter.
I wrote this just this morning, base on my feelings and instant thinking.
I may be  a sort of emo.. charr/...
Sorry ___...
Thank you and God bless